The XPac-alypse

Sorry I haven't posted much over the last week. This is partly due to my being sick, partly due to the Ulduar guide I've been trying to work on. Mostly it's because I'm a zombie.


Yup.


As a matter of fact, most players I know have become zombies lately. They're all suffering from the same (possibly governmentally developed bioweapon) disease, which I shall hereby refer to as expansionitis.


Expansionitis occurs primarily in gamers. Gamers that are most at risk are devout WoW players. Those afflicted with expansionitis steadily become zombies - living corpses slowly shuffling about the planet with no real purpose or sentience of their own. In fact, the only thing that these E-zombies (Expansionitis Zombies) can accomplish is infecting others with the disease. So the infection spreads and thus begins the XPac-alypse.


Everyone feels the effects of the XPac-alypse. Raiders stop showing up, people are less enthusiastic about events or even playing in general. The E-zombies that haven't wandered away simply keep returning to finish their mindless daily chores.


Expansionitis tends to spread in the coming months before a new expansion. It's now hit us so hard that a state of emergency has been declared... or it would be had the authorities not already become E-zombies themselves. A cure, codenamed: Cataclysm, is being developed by a top-secret organisation (Blizzard), but there's little we can do while we wait for it to be deployed. 


Naturally, as with any zombie outbreak, there are also survivors - those who have not yet been infected and are slowly watching others fall around them. This is where our problem lies.


We started Harms Way shortly before the outbreak, and we cater specifically for those who are naturally "survivors". Many of the seasoned players (shamefully, myself included) have become less and less enthusiastic over time, leaving many of the survivor types to fend for themselves in the dark, cold, zombie-infested streets of Dalaran.


I have a suspicion (correct me if I'm wrong here) that many of the survivors are beginning to lose hope for Harms Way - that it's not the teaching guild that we promised it would be. They'd be right too, but only for now.


Slowly, things will become like they should be - we simply have to wait for the cure-a-clysm. Once we get that, everything will be shiny and better than ever. In the meantime, I'll be doing my best to give everyone a way to fight off expansionitis (Sadistic Sundays, Achievement Runs, Stormwind Pub Crawls, etc.). 


So grab a chainsaw, a cricket bat or a plastic, glow-in-the-dark pink sword, and start fighting... The cure will be here before you know it and we'll be restored to our former (and even greater) glory!


-Ahzae, Lord of The Trifl- braaaaiiinnnnss...

Sadistic Sunday: Target Acquired!

I have a special treat for all of you this Sunday! Well, almost all of you. 

Most of you will be spared my cruelest events today... in fact, everyone except Kerreck is getting away nearly sadism-free! More on that in a moment; First, the schedule!

12pm - Ruck's ICC10

2pm - Charity Auction Run

4pm - Stratholme Endurance

Ruck's ICC10
As much as I'd like to play this one off as a sadistic event, sadly I cannot. Ruck has already proven himself to be an outstanding raid leader and it wouldn't surprise me if his run goes smoother than mine do (I have a tendency to prattle on for unnecessary lengths of time... much like I am right now).

We'll likely run a Last Resort ICC/VoA on Tuesday (just before reset), but it'll likely be an undergeared mess - get in on the A-squad while you can!

Charity Auction Run

Same story as last week:

Running multiple instances for a shot at rare loot. Highest bidder wins the loot and all proceeds go into the gbank. Here are the details:

• At 2pm, silent bidding for a place in the run will commence. Whisper Ahzae with your bid for a spot.
• The 4 highest bidders will get an invite to the run. Ahzae will also match the highest bid.

This is the loot we'll be shooting for:

• Reins of the Raven Lord + Lower City rep (loads)
• Ethereum Prison Key x 6 to 12 + Consortium rep (loads)
• Time-Lost Figurine + Sha'tari Skyguard rep (500)
• Phoenix Hatchling + Swift White Hawkstrider + Shattered Sun Offensive rep (loads)
• Fiery Warhorse's Reins + Violet Eye rep (some)
• Swift Zulian Tiger + Swift Razzashi Raptor + Zandalar Tribe rep (some)
• (Optional) Reins of the Blue Proto-Drake

Everything else that drops will be vendored and added to the pot. If anything not on this list drops and you want it, make a bid! :D

Stratholme Endurance

This is the only event today (for most of you) that's even slightly sadistic... and it's all because I felt like punishing a select few of you:

"Lez add Strat to teh Chairty Run lol - he drups a horss!" these people cried.

"No. The drop rate is way too low, plus there's no lockout - it'll just be a grind." I sanely replied.

"OI! U make strat runz on chartiy, I pay u lol"

Damn right you'll pay.

Here are the rules for this event:

• This is an Endurance run. Last man standing wins the loot (if it drops at all).
• Members do consecutive Stratholme runs for as long as they can bear it. Each member  attending (including the leader) must pay 20g to their party leader before starting each run.
• If a party member refuses to pay, or has simply had enough of running the same thing over and over again, they may choose to leave at any time. Not paying the entry fee renders one ineligible to collect the grand prize.
• Should the Horse drop from the Baron, it will go to the last person still willing to go for more  Stratholme runs. If there is no clear winner after 105 minutes from the time of the drop (15 minutes left to trade with eligible members), remaining participants will have to bid on it via the Charity Run rules above. All proceeds go to the Gbank.
• If the Horse does not drop at all, the last man (or woman) standing wins all collected gold instead.

I'll be able to explain more when we start the event. I have no idea how long this will go on for, so be prepared.

Please note that by participating in this event you do so at your own risk, and you also accept responsibility for any loss or situation arising directly or indirectly from your participation in this event. Participation is completely voluntary.

BONUS GAME: Make Kerreck Cry!

Ok, so that's not really the name of this week's game, but it's what we're gonna end up with one way or another. Since Kerreck won the last two in a row he's gotten a little overproud. I even thought I saw him strutting at one point! This will not stand!

This week we have Give Up, Robot!
Before we go any further, be warned: Trying to complete this game will drive you absolutely mad. I'm serious. You'll likely end up breaking something. This game actually hates you. It will laugh at your failures, it will try (and succeed) to distract you with nonsense colours. It will crush your very soul...

The rules this week are the same, but the rewards are different.

• For everyone (except Kerreck): Normal reward - 500g to the first to post the correct answers here in the comments.

• For Kerreck: Kerreck will win precisely ZERO should he complete this task first. However, if he is not the first complete the game and post the correct answers here he will be disqualified from next Sunday's BONUS GAME!

This week, I need you to answer these three questions for me (all found when completing the game, also ignoring Hard Mode):

• When you've completed normal mode, what did the game use to show your rank? (eg. 4/5 stars)
• How many possible ranks were there? (eg. 5/5, 10/10, 100/100)
• How many levels did you have to complete before you saw this ranking?

First to post the answers in the comments below wins the prize, or lack thereof!

So, the tables have turned my cocky tauren chum! At last, you will know HUMILITY!

-Ahzae, Targeter of Kerrecks

Where's Ahzae?

Sorry for the lack of updates and general neglect of all things Harms Way on my part, I've been rather unwell the last few days (migraines). This is the first time in a while I've been able to look at my monitor without it causing intense pain, so hopefully it'll last and I'll get everything back to normal today!

Don't forget about the Maob Awards! Cast your vote if you haven't already (You can check out the nominees here):

The Maob Awards for August - Cast your vote!

One last thing: When I'd found and downloaded a picture of Wally/Waldo to shop my face onto for this post, I went into my pictures folder... and couldn't find it! I had to download it a second time.


There's something evil about that creature...


-Ahz

The Maob Awards: August Nominees

Welcome to the very first Maob Awards post! I should probably explain exactly what's going on here, but first a quick history lesson:

At some point Banakin misspelled the word "mob" as "maob". Given the fact that the letter 'A' is nowhere near the letters required for 'mob', he's created a sort of typo enigma. Add that to us being a pack of jerks who take pleasure in tormenting others, and we've been rubbing it in ever since. Such is the humble beginnings of the Maob Awards.

We use these awards for recognising particularly memorable moments from Harms Way and immortalise them here, so that we can show future generations of the wayward some of our most epic or hilarious moments. Anyone can be nominated for an award in any given month, and for any reason. In essence, a Maob Award is whatever we want it to be.

Nominees for the monthly award will be announced seven days prior to the end of the month. We then vote on our favourite Maob moment, and whoever has the most votes by the end of the month gets the prize. In order to nominate a moment, make sure you announce that we have a nominee (so we know something awesome has happened :3) and send the details through to Ahzae either in-game or via email.

August Nominees:

We have four contenders for August. In order of occurrence:

---

Banakin - 10man Irony

Banakin was set to tank Onyxia earlier this month. All the way through the trash, he loudly exclaimed his hatred for paladins. Once Banakin starts ranting about paladins he's difficult to stop.

Unless he disconnects, which he did during the first attempt at Ony. When he didn't come back, the raid replaced him rather quickly... with a paladin.

---

Thalkorn - Epic VoA Wipe

A VoA10 group had been scheduled, planning to take down all four bosses. Unfortunately, getting the raid together took longer than expected (probably Ahzae's fault) and by the time they were ready to go we only had twenty minutes left to down them all.

Instead of waiting for the next Wintergrasp battle to finish, this group heroically decided to race the clock. Toravon, Archavon and Koralon all fell in a single attempt. They stood before Emalon with 5 minutes left on the clock. Every raider was feeling the rush of taking on the clock and winning as they prepared to take down the final boss.

However, the group wiped on Emalon due to the adds. Two minutes remained on the clock though, enough time to engage Emalon and finish him in the overtime. With the adrenaline still pumping, the raid regrouped at Emalon's room and waited for him to respawn.

Thalkorn, thinking that Emalon was missing because they had run out of time, began bouncing around the room and let loose his army of the dead... This was quickly followed with an "Oh shi-" as Emalon and his adds respawned on top of them. Emalon immediately tore through half of the raid; the survivors were too busy laughing and cheering to fight back and were wiped out seconds later.

Though Thalkorn felt bad about it at the time, everyone assured him that a truly epic ending like that was more than they could have hoped for - certainly worth more than the piddling loot Emalon had to offer.

---

Banakin (again) - Treetank FAIL

Banakin was tanking in Ruby Sanctum during a Sadistic Sunday event. After wiping to the first boss a few times, Banakin went exploring to see if he could get any sort of advantage from the terrain. He then got stuck in the tree where the boss was keeping it's prisoner and couldn't get out.

Figuring that this was as good of a sign as anything, the raid left Banakin stuck in the tree prison and moved on to their next raid. (Now that I think about it, I don't think I've seen him since, hahaha - Ahz)

---

Saravix - Getting out of Harm's Way

During the same Sadistic Sunday event, several Harms Way members came across Saravix (former Harms Way member, recently transferred to the alliance) and, somewhat accidentally, killed her in spectacular fashion in the middle of Darnassus. Quoted from this post:

We started in Darnassus (Sporran had a hankering to hear a few night elf death cries). After we'd slaughtered a few, Ruck stopped us. He was staring at the body of one particular night-elf, completely aghast.

"That... That's Saravix!"

Saravix was a blood-elf hunter that Ruck had recruited to Harms Way a few weeks ago. It seemed as if she had defected to the alliance, right from under our noses. In the most obscene coincidence of the decade, her former guildmates accidentally stumbled across her in a town they weren't planning to go to and killed her before realising who she was because she also happened to be flagged for pvp.

From Saravix's point of view, it must have seemed as though her former guildmates had tracked her down to pay her back for her departure. This was (and is) definitely not the case; Harms Way bears no ill will toward Saravix and we wish her luck in her future endeavours.


In the meantime, it makes for a particularly Moabie worthy moment.


Voting:
Vote for your favourite moment below. The person whose moment has the highest number of votes wins the Maob Award for this month.

The Maob Awards for August - Cast your vote!

Sadistic Sunday Results

Yesterdays The previous Sadistic Sunday ended up being one of the most epic days in my WoW life. Here's the play by play:

Ruby Sanctum:

The day started off fairly slowly with our ill fated RS run. While we skillfully handled the trash we struggled slightly on the first boss... then Banakin got stuck in a tree, so we called it.

Charity Auction:

The charity auction became an incredibly epic run. After seeing the Time-Lost Figurine drop (and bought for two-thousand gold), the buyers made their way to the dark portal to get to Karazhan.

While we passed through Hellfire Peninsula, we discovered Thrallmar being attacked by the alliance. Kerreck and I immediately swooped in, fighting off the numerous alliance that had only just begun their pre-organised attack on the horde town. Kerreck and I stood victorious over the bodies of the fallen alliance, and flew away with the cheers of the horde bystanders still ringing in our ears.

After Karazhan, we made our way down to Zul'gurub. We stopped briefly in Darkshire to give the alliance a quick taste of their own medicine. While Ruck and Kerreck charged around town smashing whatever they could find, I stood in the town square yelling that the alliance should "cease and desist all hostilities towards our towns, or we'll start trashing theirs in return". After a few minutes of watching a few irate night-elves making rude gestures and us laughing at them, we continued on to our destination.

All in all the run took in over 5000g, which was none too shabby. Big thanks to everyone who participated.

Stormwind Pub Crawl:

The crawl didn't end up quite as we had planned, but was truly fantastic nonetheless.

We started in Darnassus (Sporran had a hankering to hear a few night elf death cries). After we'd slaughtered a few, Ruck stopped us. He was staring at the body of one particular night-elf, completely aghast.

"That... That's Saravix!"

Saravix was a blood-elf hunter that Ruck had recruited to Harms Way a few weeks ago. It seemed as if she had defected to the alliance, right from under our noses. In the most obscene coincidence of the decade, her former guildmates accidentally stumbled across her in a town they weren't planning to go to and killed her before realising who she was because she also happened to be flagged for pvp. Subsequently, Saravix will be nominated for a post-departure Maobie.

We arrived at Stormwind Harbour and began charging through the city to get to our pub of choice (we chose the Pig n' Whistle in Old Town). The Alliance had heard the we were coming, either by reading this blog (:3) or from the Darnassian night elves keen to see us punished.

As we fought our way down the canals we got seperated. As I chased one alliance member through the canal to finish him off, I saw the alliance gathered on the bridges, effectively creating roadblocks... they seemed well prepared for our arrival. Only Ovorion and I made it to the pub alive.

We fought them off long enough for the others to join us, and soon the party was in full swing; but the alliance numbers were growing as they gathered outside of our pub. A few of them came inside to join us, shortly followed by 15-20 more who came inside to kill us. The five of us were quickly overwhelmed (not before taking several alliance scum with us first) which put an end to our Stormwind drinking session.

Of course, we were left far from satisfied. We gathered again outside of the pub - the alliance had been naïve enough to wait for us inside. We scampered to the deeprun tram, chuckling at the simple-minded alliance who allowed us to escape so easily.

The Stonefire Tavern AKA. The Hordefire Tavern

When we arrived in Ironforge, we headed for the Stonefire Tavern. Even though the tavern was within earshot of the Ironforge bank and auction house, we received very little resistance from the natives. As we danced, drank and told awful jokes, we were joined by a few alliance members - including a female draenei who stripped off and began dancing on the tables.

We renamed the Stonefire Tavern before we left. To us, it will be known as the Hordefire Tavern. Any future pub crawl events will likely be held there from now on and the alliance will always be welcome to join us there for a drink (provided they don't try to kill us).

Likewise, should the alliance claim ownership of a pub located within our borders, know that Harms Way will be there to buy them a round.

-Ahz

MTC Monday: Niennae

Meet The Crew Monday's are all about introducing you to the wonderful tauren of Harms Way. Even though Niennae insists she's a blood elf, I won't be fooled! Never! She's a tauren in disguise just like all the others and- hang on, some men in white coats just arrived at my place. I'll be right back...


Niennae

Blood Elf Mage
Arcane/Frost

Location:
Brisbane, QLD

Age:
Elves do age well, don't they? Perhaps she resorts to some sort of trickery to keep herself looking so young, possibly some sort of dark magic or hair dye. In any case, Niennae won't give away her exact age, but she reassures me that she's "really very, very old".

Likes:
Tradeskills, achievements, questing and raiding.

Dislikes:
Arrogant jerks, PvP.


Following the destruction of Silvermoon and the Sunwell, Niennae stayed behind to help defend the broken city from further scourge attacks. Her friends had begged her to join them on their pilgrimage into Outland, but she politely refused. She knew that the people of Silvermoon needed her more than her friends did.


As time passed, the Sin'dorei began to suffer from withdrawal and the rebuilding of Silvermoon slowed to a crawl. Niennae began to wonder if what was left of the city was even worth saving. After seeing her own son killed and dragged away by the Scourge, Niennae made up her mind and went to join her friends in Outland.


Upon arriving in Shattrath city, Niennae discovered that her friends had either been lost in battle or retired because of it. The battles were being fought elsewhere, and there was little Niennae could do for them - so she settled in Shattrath, working as a tailor.

When the Horde expedition to Northrend was announced, Niennae was one of the first in line.  Niennae pledged herself to the Argent Crusade, hoping to get close enough to the one who caused her son's death.


Niennae quickly found a band of heroes willing to challenge the Lich King face-to-face. She worked with the group fervently, trying to get a chance to slay her son's killer. The leader of their group eventually cracked under the strain and ran screaming, crying and naked into the comforting arms of one of the Lich Kings most horrid creatures - Festergut - and was promptly killed for his efforts.


Within days the group had scattered and Niennae found herself working as a tailor again, this time in Dalaran. She was about to give up entirely when she found a group who had their eyes set on the Lich King as well. This new group had intrigued her - they were offering to train inexperienced Horde members for battle. They didn't want achievements, and they were only taking patient people.


Impressed with their attitude, Niennae immediately offered her services to Harms Way. It wasn't long before she realised that she'd finally found the place where she belonged. She was home.


That's it for this week! Remember, if you want to see your purdy picture up here too, make sure you let Ahzae know. For now, I apparently have to go with these nice gentlemen behind me. They say there will be pie and punch waiting for me...


-Ahz

Sadistic Sunday Details

I'm going to have to start posting these as an evil alter-ego villain version of myself, I just can't think of a name. The best I can come up is Ahzae, Lord of the Trifling Gnome and my brain refuses to think of anything else. Anywho, the schedule awaits!


12pm: Ruby Sanctum
2pm: Charity Auction Run
4pm: Stormwind Pub Crawl

Ruby Sanctum:
Apparently Malygos wasn't sadistic enough for you people. Throughout last Sunday (and even most of Monday) you mocked me: "LOL Ahz, we thought you were gonna make us tear our hair out"


So now we've got a new dragon to make friends with: Halion.


As an added bonus (and because I'm thoroughly convinced that you over-confident jerks won't get very far) I'm putting a 5000g bounty on Halion's head. First guild group to drop him wins the loot!




Charity Auction Run:
Running multiple instances for a shot at rare loot. Highest bidder wins the loot and all proceeds go into the gbank. Here are the details:

• At 2pm, silent bidding for a place in the run will commence. Whisper Ahzae with your bid for a spot.
• The 4 highest bidders will get an invite to the run. Ahzae will also match the highest bid.

This is the loot we'll be shooting for:

• Reins of the Raven Lord + Lower City rep (loads)
• Ethereum Prison Key x 6 to 12 + Consortium rep (loads)
• Time-Lost Figurine + Sha'tari Skyguard rep (500)
• Phoenix Hatchling + Swift White Hawkstrider + Shattered Sun Offensive rep (loads)
• Fiery Warhorse's Reins + Violet Eye rep (some)
• Swift Zulian Tiger + Swift Razzashi Raptor + Zandalar Trive rep (some)
• (Optional) Reins of the Blue Proto-Drake

Everything else that drops will be vendored and added to the pot. If anything not on this list drops and you want it, make a bid! :D

Stormwind Pub Crawl:

Step 1: Buy loads of alcoholic beverages (virtual alcohol *glares at Ruck*).

Step 2: Pick a pub in Stormwind and take it over for one hour.

Step 3: Fight off the alliance scum who try to stop us and cheer at any alliance scum who join us.

Please note that I do not wish to get people to drink alcohol AT ALL outside of the game. Should anyone do so, it is their choice and any risk or liability is, naturally, their own.

If you have any ideas or any feedback for any of these events then give me a shout. I'm always looking for more evil (yet entertaining) ways to torture our guild members.

BONUS GAME:  Doodle God (+500g)

Last week's game was won by Kerreck, who is now the proud owner of 500g and an aneurysm. This week is Doodle God - this one will test your mind and really test your patience.

Once you've discovered the final element you'll be taken to the congrats screen. The first guild member to leave a comment on this post detailing what Doodle God will himself perhaps do wins the 500g.

*cackles evilly whilst stroking a cat*

-Ahzae, Lord of the Trifling Gnome

The 4am Coffee-Spit

http://db.mmo-champion.com/i/60854/loot-a-rang-nyi/

Engineers are gonna have some great new toys once the cataclysm hits!

Also, don't ask me why I was drinking coffee at 4 in the morning.

-Ahz

Naxx Raid Guide Available!

Yup, it's done. There should be a new link over on the right side. Feel free to use the guide for any situation, and let me know if you have any suggestions.

Of course, if the guide is popular I'll knock up more guides as well - even continuing on into Cataclysm. Make sure you let me know what you think!
I should probably go to bed now, enjoy! :D

-Ahz

Core Teams Dissolving

Yup, it's over. The "core team" idea appears destined to fail and I'm a big enough man to know when I've been beaten and to sound a retreat.

Sadly, it seems we can't really get a proper "core team" off the ground without it becoming the srs bznz raids I'm desperately trying to avoid. As of today, CT ranks 1 and 2 are being removed (former CT members will be made veterans instead).

This is actually good news for the rest of the guild, as there will be no restrictions or priorities on who gets what - we'll also go back to the old system of scheduling four hundred raids through out the week and continue making your calendar give you a headache whenever you look at it :P


In the meantime, try to ignore the guild promotion/demotion spam as I move everything back around.


TL;DR: Everyone gets to raid, all the time! *starts looking for a piñata*


-Ahz

WotLK Raid Guide in Development

I'm currently working on an extra page for this blog - a full guide for all of the first raid encounters in LK (Naxx, EoE and OS).

It's going to take a little longer than I expected it would, and I've gotten to thinking: Will anyone actually use it?

It'll be a full guide if it goes ahead, with all strategies sorted by role. For example:


***
Tanks: 
Main tank does this thing. Offtank laughs at the healers during emote spam.

DPS: 
During phase 1, faceroll. Phase 2, rage.

Healers:
Quietly cry about how under-appreciated you are throughout the encounter.
***

I need to know whether or not we'll get any use out of it; if we won't use it then there's no sense making it :P


Feel free to mail me your thoughts in-game or leave a comment here (captcha disabled for now, may come back if we get spammed with... spam).


-Ahz

Update: Calendar Change

In order to put a little more focus on our two raid teams, I'm changing the way I'll be scheduling things on the calendar.

"Lesser" raids (Naxx, Ulduar and even ToC10, for example) will no longer be scheduled. I looked at the last two weeks on the calendar and it was a mess, so I'm tidying things up a bit.

From now on, only the T1 and T2 raids will appear scheduled, along with any other pre-organised guild events such as Sadistic Sunday and Premade BG's/PvP events. Everything else will be a spur of the moment thing.

Of course, if you do want to set up your own raid/event, let one of the officers know and we'll fix it up for you.

By the way, we're still looking for members for T1 and T2. We're heavy on melee dps (all DK positions filled) but we're looking for more in every other role. T1 is evening raids (pst Ahzae), T2 is midday (pst Raggingruck). Don't worry if you don't get a spot, there'll be plenty of raids to go around, and you never know when we'll need someone to fill in too.


In the meantime, there's this glimmer of randomness:

-Ahz *briefly wonders if "Owls" would make a good team name... decides it would not*